


Needy

by sugargaze



Series: Decoding [2]
Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Candles, Caretaker Noel, Drug Use, Fingers in Mouth, Fuckboy Laugh, Helpless Cody, Late at Night, Lots of Lighting Talk for No Reason, M/M, Male Friendship, Muscles, Office Chairs, Panic Attacks, Showers, Sleep Deprivation, Soft Boys, Spit Kink, Sweat, Vaping in the Dark, Waterboarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:55:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugargaze/pseuds/sugargaze
Summary: Cody falls apart late one night. Noel comes over to help put him back together.





	1. Open your mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. Please do not show this or relay this idea to the boys or anyone close to them.

Noel’s apartment was better lit than most night clubs. It was nighttime and Aleena was asleep so there was no one around to clown him for his color choices. Pink lights, purple lights, blue lights – he’d set up all his LED strips around his desk so he could bask in the comforting gradient while he worked. Work, on this particular evening, was really just reading and responding to the hundreds of emails that piled up while he was in the Bahamas. Ollie sat in his lap, alternating between dozing off while sitting up-right and staring intently at Noel’s fingers while they moved on the keyboard. A timer ticked down on Noel’s desktop to tell him when he should shut it all down and switch into leisure mode. Just 10 minutes left.

Noel was reading the details on a demonetization notice when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He slid it out and saw the ID. Cody Ko. He accepted the call.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Noel asked, distracted but soft so as not to wake Aleena.

“…Noel?”

Cody sounded… strange. Noel stopped typing and looked away from the computer screen.

“Yeah, dude. What’s good?”

Cody didn’t answer immediately but Noel could hear his breathing.

“Can you come over?”

“Uh, now? It’s like, 1 AM, dude. Are you okay?”

“I’m… no. I’m not. I’m… please?”

Cody sounded like he was fighting back tears. Noel closed his eyes. It hurt him to hear Cody like this – in a position that he’d been in a hundred times before – but he was dead tired.

“Okay, um. Did you do the grounding exercise I taught you?”

“I can’t.”

”What?”

“NOEL. Please.”

Cody’s desperation was making Noel’s stomach churn. _Is second-hand anxiety a thing?_

“Is Kelsey there?”

“Of course Kelsey’s not here, you think I would call you if Kelsey was here?”

“Sorry, man, I- Okay. Give me a second.”

Noel racked his brain. It was late, he was tired, and he was still jet-lagged. He thought about the time it would take to drive to Cody’s house, then… help Cody, whatever that meant, then drive back.

Then he thought about how unbearable his anxiety would have been without Aleena.

Noel sighed heavily and started shutting down his computer.

“Okay, I’m coming over. Sit tight. It’s late enough that the roads should be pretty empty.”

“Thanks. Thank- Thank you.”

Cody’s voice was even shakier. He seemed impervious to any relief that could have been delivered by the news that Noel was coming over. Noel disconnected the call and let out a sigh, making a mental checklist of things he wanted to take. He debated waking up Aleena to tell her he was leaving but thought better of it. She had work tomorrow and he didn’t want to worry her.

He set Ollie on the floor and grabbed his Gucci fanny pack – an ~ironic~ gift from Cody that he loved more than he would ever admit – and threw his phone and a portable charger in. He also picked up a CBD cartridge, his pill case that had a single expired Xanax left, and his lip balm 'cause he was feeling a little crusty. 

Noel escaped the maze of his apartment complex and started his (Aleena’s) car. Pretty much the only time that driving could be enjoyable in LA was this late at night. He’d been to Cody’s place enough times that he could basically run on autopilot and just enjoy listening to the shit he was too embarrassed to play around Aleena or his boys. Ariana Grande’s most recent album was his go-to right now.

_\---_

Noel was thankful to find street parking just outside Cody’s apartment. He walked up the stairs and stood on the landing, debating whether he should knock or call or ring the doorbell. He opted to bypass all of these things and tried the handle. The door was unlocked.

“Cody?” Noel called as he walked across the threshold. He locked the door behind him and dropped his pack on the entry table. None of the lights were on. His eyes adjusted to the darkness while he looked around, finally spotting Cody slumped on the couch where he was tightly gripping his arms across his chest and tucking his chin.

“Hey, dude.” Noel said softly as he walked over to where Cody was. He sat down next to Cody on the couch, slowly, like a sudden movement would cause Cody to break into a million pieces.

“Cody... what’s going on, man?”

No response. He tried to get a better look at Cody and realized that it was as though every muscle fiber on Cody’s body was activated. His jaw clenched, brow furrowed, eyes screwed shut, shoulders raised, arms flexing. Noel’s neck hurt just looking at him.

“Hey. Hey, man. I’m here. Talk to me.”

No response again. Noel went to put his hand on Cody’s back and was alarmed to feel that Cody was rigid, trembling, and drenched with sweat. He could feel the sinew of Cody's muscle flexing and twitching as he tried to breathe. He fought the urge to recoil.

“Noel,” Cody finally spoke at barely a whisper.

“Noel, I think I’m dying.” Cody’s frame was so tight and compressed that he sounded like he was struggling to vocalize.

“Cody, you’re not dying. You know what this is.”

“I can’t… I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can feel my heartbeat in my limbs, but I can’t feel anything else, and it's like I'm trapped, but I'm not really here...” 

Cody’s muscles in his face and neck were so rigid that it was distorting his voice, making it sound higher and muffled.

“Cody…” Noel whispered, moving closer to the man. “This is like, textbook panic attack stuff, man.”

“No, I… this is different. This isn’t like before.”

Noel sat for a moment, thinking. He stood up and grabbed his pack by the door and returned to the couch. He pulled the pill case out and popped out the Xanax.

“Open your mouth,” he said gently, hand on Cody’s back again.

“Noel, I’m strug- I can’t swallow right now.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to," Noel said calmly. "Open your mouth.”

Noel moved his hand from Cody’s back and placed it on Cody’s damp forehead, trying to gently lift Cody’s head from his chest. In his other hand he had the Xanax tablet held between his thumb and pointer, and he used his remaining fingers to lift Cody’s jaw.

“I’m going to place this under your tongue so it can dissolve. It’s bitter as hell but it will hit your bloodstream faster. Just… just open your mouth.”

Noel could see Cody trying to relax his face. His eyes stayed closed but they weren’t shut so tight. His mouth finally relaxed but his lips didn’t part.

“Okay, don’t freak out,” Noel said softly. 

Still gripping the Xanax between his thumb and pointer, Noel gently pushed those two fingers into Cody’s trembling mouth. Cody's lips were somehow soft and chapped at the same time, and the inside of his mouth was shockingly sticky, like he’d gone from producing a ton of saliva to none at all in a short period of time. Noel angled his fingers down to place the tablet under Cody’s large tongue, and then removed his thumb in order to use his pointer and middle finger to manipulate the drug into a crevasse near the web of Cody’s tongue. It felt... alien. Noel realized he had put his fingers in his own mouth, and put his tongue and his cock in other people's mouths, but he'd never felt another person's tongue like this. Noel pulled his fingers out and Cody’s mouth drifted shut, the muscles in his jaw once again working overtime. Noel looked curiously at his fingers for a moment. He had a fleeting impulse to put them in his own mouth. _What the fuck? I really am tired._ He quickly wiped them off on his sweats and cleared his throat.

“I know that probably felt weird but you’ll thank me in about 15 minutes.”

Cody’s body was unchanged. He was suffering, and stubborn in his suffering. Noel looked even more closely at Cody and realized how drenched his whole body was. Flannel pajama bottoms clung to Cody’s muscular thighs like someone had dumped a pot of water in his lap.

“We gotta get you out of these clothes, dude. It’s only going to make you feel worse and it’s part of why you’re shaking so much since it’s so drafty in here. You’re basically sitting in a wet spot like you pissed yourself. Stand up.”

Cody didn’t respond.

“Dude, come- I will pick you up and carry you off of this couch if I have to. Come on.”

Noel stood up and Cody remained seated. Noel and Cody both knew that was an empty threat and he felt his frustration building. Combined with being around someone in this much distress and his own fatigue, he was starting to feel fragile and his neck was radiating pain. He grabbed his pack off the ground and pulled out his CBD cartridge. He stood in front of Cody in the dark, taking silent, slow draws. He watched the vapor clouds appear and then dissipate between him and Cody, but more than that, he looked at Cody. He looked at Cody's two-toned hair pushed all to one side, some of it caught in the perspiration on his face. There was a vein on Cody's forehead that wasn't usually there. He looked at Cody's neck and chest, the outline clear from Cody's one-man wet t-shirt contest courtesy of his own sweat. He realized he could smell Cody's mouth on his hands every time he brought the pen to his lips but it didn't freak him out. _Drugs are crazy._

For about a minute the only sound in the room was Cody’s pinched, shaky breathing and Noel’s smooth, deliberate breaths. He crouched down in front of Cody, using Cody’s damp thighs for balance.

“Hey… hey, look at me,” Noel whispered.

Cody’s eyes shot wide open and locked onto his.

“Whoa, Jesus. Uh, hey… while you’re waiting for that to kick in, do you want to take a couple draws of this?”

Cody looked at the pen then back at Noel.

“You know that shit fucks me up.” Cody whimpered, voice small like a child.

“No, it’s-it’s not THC. It’s just CBD. It won’t make you paranoid or make your heart race. It has a slight muscle relaxant property which, you know, I feel like you could use right now.”

Noel could see the gears in Cody’s head working on overdrive.

“Oh, uh… okay. If- okay.”

Noel waited what felt like years for Cody to reach for the pen, but it never happened. Finally, Noel brought the pen to Cody’s lips.

“I’ll press the button and you breathe, okay?”

Cody was still staring straight into Noel’s soul.

“Inhale.”

Cody closed his eyes and struggled to breathe deeply, his chest seizing and shaking as he tried to fill his lungs.

“That’s okay, now hold it… and let it go.”

Cody’s exhale was just as tortured as his inhale. Noel gave him a couple breaths to reset.

“Again, inhale… hold… and exhale.”

Noel did about five more rounds of this with Cody. As he was doing so, Noel felt the CBD fully set in to his own system and he sat on the floor. Several minutes passed as he watched Cody’s face start to grow slack.

“You feeling any better?” Noel asked. Cody opened his eyes slightly.

“Yeah, thank god,” Cody said weakly, sounding more like himself. “I still feel like there’s a meat grinder in my chest and I want to die…” Cody trailed off. “But I think I can, you know, move or whatever.”

Noel stood up. He put both hands out as an offering to help Cody up. Cody was still gripping his body tightly, but he looked at Noel less like a trapped animal and more like someone who was just… wounded.

Noel leaned forward and grasped Cody’s forearms. He felt them flex defensively under his grip and Noel felt a tinge of fear and something else he couldn't identify. 

"It's okay," Noel assured him. He felt Cody's arms finally relax and they fell to Cody's side. 

“Come on. I'll help you.”

Cody was still trembling but he brought his hands to his knees, seemingly checking to see that his legs were really still there. He suddenly became aware of how absolutely drenched in sweat he was. He looked long and hard at Noel but didn't say anything. Noel held out his arms again and then dropped them in exasperation. Finally, Cody spoke.

“Can you… can you help me shower?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ click here to reach me on tumblr](https://sodaplease.tumblr.com/)


	2. Try not to drown in the bath.

_“Can you help me shower?”_

The question echoed in Noel’s head.

“What?”

Cody was sitting in front of him, trembling and soggy like a scared wet dog.

“I know, it’s… ugh. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t need... I can’t get into bed like this.”

Noel’s brain was processing slower than usual from the CBD and exhaustion. He brought his hand to his jaw to scratch his patchy facial hair. He smelled Cody’s mouth on his fingers again and felt that weird part of his brain tingling. It’s like he had a spidey sense for creep shit.

“Um… yeah, dude. Let’s… let's do this.”

Cody sighed in relief. Noel offered his palms this time for him to grab onto and Cody pulled himself up only to immediately collapse onto Noel. The smaller man scrambled to keep them both from crashing into the coffee table, taking a huge step back while holding Cody under his arms. A weird strangled noise escaped Noel’s mouth as he pulled Cody up and used his whole body to stabilize them both. Cody smelled like sweat and laundry detergent and something else that Noel couldn’t place. Lavender, maybe.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m jello.” Cody mumbled frantically into Noel’s temple.

Noel combed his own brain. He wouldn’t be able to support Cody’s weight and keep him stable enough to walk. It seemed like Cody could barely stand let alone harness any kind of forward momentum.

“Okay, uh… okay, I have an idea. I’m putting you back on the couch for a second.”

Noel grabbed one of Cody’s hands and maintained a grip on his waist, slowly lowering him back onto the couch. Noel disappeared from Cody’s sight without a word and returned quickly with a rolling office chair.

“This is the only way I can think of. I’ll hold the chair steady with my legs and one of my arms, and I’ll use the other arm to help you get into the chair. How does that sound?”

Noel had inadvertently slipped into his manager voice but neither of them noticed.

“Uh, okay. Yeah.”

Noel braced the chair against his body and helped pull Cody onto it. It was graceless and Noel was pretty sure he pulled something, but it worked. Noel reached around and lifted up Cody’s feet and placed them onto the wheeled legs of the chair so they wouldn’t drag on the floor.

“Nice,” Cody muttered quietly to himself.

“Your bathroom has a tub in it, right?” Noel asked as he started to push Cody down the dark hall.

“Uh… yeah, why?”

“There’s… no way you’re standing up in there. It’s bath time, man.”

“Huh… yeah, that’s chill.”

Cody and Kelsey shared the master bath so there was ample room to get the chair in there. Once inside Noel stared at the shower-tub combo. The lights were still off but he’d gotten so used to darkness that it felt unnecessary to switch them on. The shower was set up in a modern style without curtains or doors. It looked cool but Noel could only imagine how much water must get on the floor.

“Uh… okay, how… hmm…” Noel mumbled.

“Noel...”

Noel turned to look at Cody.

“You good?”

“God, I feel… I’m so tired.”

Cody had gone from rigid, sweaty mess to... floppy, sweaty mess. Noel turned back towards the bathtub, his 2 brain cells firing on all cylinders to figure out how to bathe a grown man without sacrificing anyone’s dignity.

“Yeah, that’ll happen. Between the CBD and the tablet, you have enough sedatives in you now to down a horse… and your body basically dumped all of its adrenaline. Try not to drown in the bath.”

“Ah ha ha ha… the only thing I drown in is pussy.”

Noel had never been so relieved to hear the fuckboy impression. He pulled Cody next to the bath and tried to figure out how to get him in there without killing him.

“Hey man, do you think you’d be able to-“

Before Noel could finish, Cody was face down in the empty tub. Noel panicked and used all his strength to flip Cody over, expecting Cody to have a bloody nose and cracked teeth.

“Yo, what the fuck- are you okay?”

Cody was unphased and blinked at Noel without expression.

“Yeah… why?”

Noel sighed and moved the chair out of the way. He looked at the overgrown toddler fully dressed in the bathtub and felt completely and utterly out of his element. _How in the fuck…_

“Noel, do you want to turn the lights on?” Cody whispered. 

“I thought about it but don’t you think it will be too bright? I’d put money on your pupils being blown. Also, why are you whispering?” 

“I don’t know, dude. Why are you whispering?”

Noel looked at Cody. He couldn’t tell if this was a bit or if Cody was just that gone. 

“By the door, there’s a switch that runs horizontal. Hit that. I think you’ll like it.” 

Noel tried to ignore that Cody was still whispering and looked for the switch. It was easy to spot. He slid the bar and turned back to look at Cody. 

“Yo, what...?”

Noel was captivated. Hundreds of small, bright lights lit up on the ceiling of the bathroom, slowly alternating and fading in and out. It looked like a sky full of twinkling stars in the darkness. Even better, the lights each cast enough light that it gave the appearance that everything in the room was being touched by minuscule bursts of starlight. 

Cody watched Noel squint at the ceiling with his hands on his hips like a fascinated dad. Noel then held out his arms to watch the light play on his own skin. A faint smile crept across Cody’s mouth for the first time that night. 

“How does this even...” Noel started and then stopped when he looked at Cody, smiling wearily and still slumped in the tub, the lights dusting over his face like every other surface in the bathroom.

”You were right,” Noel said softly, gently laughing. “I do love this. I guess I’m that predictable.” 

Noel walked closer to the tub, trying to refocus.

“We gotta get those clothes off. Can you sit up?”

Cody did his best to prop himself up. Noel stood over him, grabbing the bottom hem of Cody’s shirt and pulling it towards his shoulders, struggling to get it off of his arms and over his head but eventually succeeding. 

Noel took a second just to look at Cody. They had just been on vacation together but he hadn’t seen Cody shirtless. Cody’s torso was paler than his hands and neck because he’d opted to wear a rash guard the whole time, but he looked incredible. Cody was still glistening with sweat and the lights played differently on his wet skin. It only amplified the definition on his torso and Noel fought back his jealousy. He started wrestling with Cody’s socks.

“Dude, how’re you… how’re you so cut after we lived on mai tais and katsu chicken for 5 days?”

A strange silence passed between them as Cody stared at the ceiling.

“I uh… I actually haven’t eaten since we got back.”

Noel successfully removed Cody’s last sock and turned to Cody.

“…what?”

Cody was now stretching his arms out in front of him and tensing his muscles. Noel used to think it was a vanity move but he knows better now. Cody was uncomfortable. 

“Yeah, I… you know, it’s weird…” Cody trailed off. “I’ve felt sick ever since the last day of the cruise. I think I may have caught something.”

Noel looked at Cody, hands on his hips again. In all the years he'd known Cody, he'd never heard of him not eating. He'd seen the man continue to put food down even with active food poisoning. He’d seen him eat off the ground on multiple occasions, even after meals when he couldn’t have possibly still been hungry. 

Noel had a million thoughts running through his head, but he accepted that the biggest issue was that he was incredibly tired. He was officially running on empty and he just needed to get Cody into bed.

“Okay, uh… we’ll… okay. I’m taking your… your pants off or whatever. Can you lift your hips up?”

Cody stuck his tongue out and tried to catch some light on his tongue. Noel stepped into the tub so that he had one leg on the far side of Cody’s hips. He grabbed Cody’s pants and pulled.

“Lift.” Noel instructed.

Cody was barely able to lift his hips but it was enough. Noel stepped out of the tub with Cody's pants and suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. 

_Is it weird to look at Cody right now? Is it weirder to not look at Cody right now?_

Noel was frozen in place just outside the tub. He was still holding Cody's pants but he was looking only at Cody's legs which were trembling slightly. Cody started rubbing his hands on his thighs, to warm himself up. Something about how Noel felt was so familiar but he couldn't describe the feeling if his life depended on it. He turned away for a second to throw Cody's sweats onto the pile with his shirt and socks and turned back to see Cody looking at him.

_Fellas, is it gay to look at your homie’s thighs when he’s naked in a bathtub?_

Noel panicked and turned the water handle without warning. The water came out fast and ice cold, spraying directly onto Cody’s face, causing him to sputter and cough in shock and scramble to pull himself up over the side of the bathtub. Noel rushed to cut the water off.

“SHIT. Sorry. Sorry, dude.”

Cody’s eyes were half open and he was breathing hard, his hair now saturated and flat against his head. He was gripping onto the side of the bath like his life depended on it, his dripping arms supporting his body weight.

“Hey,” Noel said cautiously, whispering now too. “Sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

Cody slowly rotated his body and positioned himself so he was sitting up, his arms resting slack at his sides. He looked at Noel expectantly but didn’t say anything, seemingly too tired to talk now having spent his last energy reserves saving himself from certain death.

“Okay, let’s try this again.”

Noel grabbed the showerhead from the wall and turned the water on again, this time leaving it pointed at the opposite wall from where Cody was to avoid another waterboarding incident. He stuck his hand in front of the sprayer several times to test the temperature. Noel grabbed a body wash off the ledge and offered it to Cody. Cody just stared at it.

“Can you do it?” he asked Noel.

Noel searched Cody’s face for any hint that this was a joke, but he didn’t find one. All he saw was a tired, naked, needy man. 

“...Okay.”

Noel got down on his knees next to the tub and thought about the best way to do this. He placed the handheld sprayer between Cody’s feet and the end of the tub to free up his hands. Noel took his shirt off and immediately regretted it. He felt small next to Cody and considered putting it back on, but out of the corner of his eye he saw that Cody was watching him. He pushed his shame down.

Noel slowly brought the sprayer to Cody’s chest and let the water wash over his skin. Cody was still watching him but Noel avoided eye contact, instead focusing on the body part he was washing. He brought the sprayer up over Cody’s shoulders and neck, letting water run down his back and being careful not to flood Cody’s ears. He lifted up Cody’s arms, bringing the showerhead close to Cody’s skin and covering every inch from his biceps to his palms. Noel repeated the same process with Cody’s legs, starting from his narrow hips and moving down his quads to his shins and his feet. Cody has more body hair than Noel and it was tempting to play with it with the stream of the shower. Cody also has a tattoo on his upper thigh that Noel had never seen in person. It’s a shitty tattoo, but still. Noel hesitated then allowed the sprayer to travel over Cody’s lower abdomen and groin. He thought he heard Cody let out a sigh but he was too tired to clown him for it. 

“Can you rinse my hair?” Cody asked. “Like, just get the sweat out?”

Noel wordlessly brought the handheld over Cody’s scalp, using his other hand to rake through Cody’s hair and keep it out of his face. He realized he’d never actually felt Cody’s hair. It was thicker than he imagined and he could actually feel the place on the hair shaft where the bleach started. Noel applied pressure to Cody’s scalp with his fingertips, trying to displace any sweat clinging to the roots, and he felt Cody tilt his head under his hand like a dog.

Noel pulled the handheld back and went to grab the body wash when he felt Cody’s hand grip his forearm.

“You know, I think I’m good.” Cody said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I already showered today. I’m like, pretty clean or whatever. I just needed to get the sweat off.”

Cody was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Okay, man. Yeah. Let me get a towel. Don’t move.”

A soft laugh escaped Cody’s mouth as Noel stood up to find the linen closet. He let his head fall back against the tile and watched the lights dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know how this ended up being its own chapter. I guess sometimes you have to write whole paragraphs about Noel touching Cody's hair. You know how it is.
> 
> [ click here to reach me on tumblr](https://sodaplease.tumblr.com/)


	3. Dumb, dumb baby.

“You’re still alive.”

Noel sounded genuinely surprised when he walked into the bathroom and saw that Cody had his eyes open. He had been gone less than a minute before he came back with a beach towel.

“This is all I could find,” Noel said as he opened up the towel and held it up. It was faded and had illustrations of the members of One Direction on it. “Hope that’s okay.”

Cody narrowed his eyes at Noel. “Where did you even get that? Did you rob a seventh grader?”

Noel balled the towel up and started walking out of the bathroom. His ability to control his temper had completely evaporated.

“Noel!” Cody called weakly. “I’m kidding. I’m fucking kidding, of course it’s fine. Kelsey won that in some kind of contest.”

Noel turned around and saw that Cody was resting his arms on the tub, making grabby hands with an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry, dude. Come on.”

Noel dropped the towel into Cody’s hands and took a couple step backs to sit on the toilet lid.

“You got jokes. I’m guessing you’re feeling better?”

Cody took a second to ponder the question, pressing the towel against his chest.

“I feel like absolute shit, honestly, but I feel way better than I did an hour ago, so…” Cody gave a half-hearted shrug. “Also, like, thanks for… all this. I guess you’ve seen my dick now.”

Noel forced a chuckle to relieve the tension. “It’s whatever, dude. It was bound to happen.”

Cody cranked his head sideways and used a soft version of his high-pitched voice. “I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t know that it was.”

Noel let out that weird closed-mouth laugh, that sksksksks laugh, and Cody was grateful for it.

Cody continued in his normal voice, “For real, though… that shit I felt earlier? Way worse than anything I’ve ever felt in my entire life.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, like… it was like my body was one big muscle spasm, and then that muscle spasm was having a panic attack.”

“Jesus, dude.”

“I’m like, scared now that that’s going to happen every time.”

“Ah… I mean, probably not.”

Cody exhaled and roughly ran the towel through his hair. “Can you help me up? I’m still not…”

Noel stood up and walked closer to Cody. “What’s the best way…”

“Uh, if you could just grab my dick, I think that would help.”

Noel was glad to see the Cody he knew come to the surface again but to say that he was not in the mood to mess around would be an understatement. He utilized his best girl voice to try and mask his frustration.

“Okay, Roger, do you want me to help you or not?”

Cody huffed and stuffed the edge of the towel in his mouth to free up his hands.

“Jushtt… pull me up. Grab underneaf my forearm and I’ll grab yoursh.”

Cody looked like an idiot, still wet, hair wild, arms held up expectantly, all with a One Direction towel in his mouth.

“You’re baby,” Noel cooed and reached down towards Cody.

Cody gripped Noel like he was trying to break his bones. Cody successfully stood up for the first time all night and continued to dry himself off, running the towel up and down his legs and his stomach.

Noel was still standing close by, watching Cody dry off. He couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to be doing with his eyes, with his hands, with his body. The whole night had been so surreal and basically annihilated the normal boundaries he maintained with men. Cody stood up and wrapped the towel around his waist as if Noel hadn’t just looked at his dick for 20 minutes.

“Do you need help getting out?” Noel asked.

Cody sighed. “Yeah, dude. I’m… I can admit it. I’m baby, at least for tonight.”

Noel stood on the edges of the bath mat to keep it from slipping while Cody stepped out of the tub and used Noel’s shoulders for support. Cody looked and felt surprisingly sturdy.

“I think you’re, you know, you’re graduating. You were baby and now you’re toddler.”

Cody smirked at Noel. “And you’re what, my dad? Daddy Noel?”

Noel felt his stomach flip. “Oof, I… don’t love it when you say it.”

Cody smiled and the boys slowly started walking out of the bathroom and into the dark hallway. Noel walked behind Cody, watching carefully to anticipate any stumbles.

“Noel, you don’t… you don’t have to escort me to my room. I’m okay.”

Cody continued to walk gingerly on his feet as if he was trying to avoid making noise, and Noel ignored his protest and matched his pace a couple steps back.

They finally made it to Cody’s bedroom. Noel went to switch on a bedside lamp and Cody protested.

“No! No, it’s okay. I know it’s small but I don’t like to use any bulb light before bed.”

Noel looked at him, doing the white people grimace. "Mmmm..."

“I know. I know it seems weird but it’s something Kelsey got me into. I’m all about that candle life now.”

Noel looked around and even in near total darkness he realized there were no less than 10 candles spread around the room. Cody handed Noel a lighter from atop his dresser.

“Go ahead and light a couple, your pick. They’re unscented ‘cause I have little bitch lungs so you don’t have to worry about… like, a weird smell combo or whatever.”

Noel put his figurative director hat on and lit what he felt were very impactful candles. While he was doing so he realized small mirrors had also been placed around the room, creating a weird optical illusion when the candles were lit.

“Wow, when did you add these?” Noel gestured to the mirrors.

“Oh, uhh…” Cody thought about it. “Just recently, like maybe in the last month. Kelsey is really into feng shui and apparently mirrors like, give energy more places to go? I might have just made that up. Don’t quote me on that. I’m not sure that shit’s real but it makes her happy and it doesn’t bother me, so…”

Noel didn’t actually care about the mirrors. He was busy being hyperaware of how romantic the space looked drenched in candle light. He was thinking of how the two of them looked lit by flame, individually and together.

“You want a shirt?” Cody asked, holding up a mossy green tee.

“Uh, no. The one I brought is fine. I think I’m going to go ahead and head out since you’re feeling better.”

“Are- are you sure? It’s like 4 AM, man.”

 _Holy shit._ Noel had totally lost track of time. Cody kept talking, his voice caring and pitching higher.

“You’re totally welcome to stay, man. If you’re not comfortable sleeping in the bed with me, I won’t be offended. The couch is actually super comfortable. It’s more comfortable for sleeping than it is for sitting on, really, and Devon got me these blankets that…”

Noel tuned Cody out. A part of Noel wanted to go back to Aleena and Ollie, back to his own bed, back to his light bulbs that he actually used, maybe a cartridge that had some THC in it. But whatever part of him wanted those familiar comforts, there was a larger, inexplicable one that was devoted to making Cody happy. Aleena was a big girl. She didn’t really need Noel. But it felt like Cody did, at least in that moment.

Noel realized Cody had been looking at him, probably waiting for an answer.

“Uh… you know what…” Noel started. “On second thought, I probably am too faded to drive. That, combined with being tired, the jet lag…” Noel mimed putting pieces of something together to make a larger whole.

Cody grinned and nodded in acknowledgement.

_Wow, he really is baby. Dumb, dumb baby._

Cody’s bed was already unmade, the covers twisted around and heaped into a pile. Cody did his best to straighten things out but there was a limit to how much he could care about making a bed look nice. He walked towards some of the candles on the far side of the room and placed their lids loosely on top to asphyxiate the flames. He left the ones on the side tables burning for now.

“You want that shirt now?” Cody asked, looking for the moldy tee.

“Uh, actually, if you’re comfortable with it, I usually sleep better shirtless.”

“Honestly, me too.”

“Dope.”

Cody was still standing around in his towel, hands on his hips and facing the bed like he was arguing with himself about something. Noel wasn’t sure what that was all about or how long that was going to take so he kicked off his slides and pulled off his joggers, setting them in a neat pile next the bed before climbing in. He looked over at Cody who was now rummaging quickly through the top drawer of his dresser and rambling on about something.

_How is this fool still awake?_

“I really only have one kind of underwear that I like, but for some reason I only have 3 pairs of them, so then I get stuck wearing the whackest shit because I don’t want…”

Cody threw his towel on the bed casually, still talking about boxers, and Noel felt like the oxygen was being sucked out of the room. Cody had cakes. Like, cakes-cakes. They were perfectly shaped, muscular with a nice layer of body fat to give some bounce and sway when he shifted his weight. Noel was staring-while-pretending-not-to-stare when Cody finally stepped into a turquoise pair of boxer briefs. They really didn’t do much to obscure things.

Cody turned back towards the bed and ran the towel through his hair one last time before throwing it over a chair. What was left on Cody’s head was nothing short of feral.

“Damn, homie. That’s the fucking look.” Noel teased.

Cody ignored him and brought his fingers to his eyes. One at a time he popped out his dailies, groaning and throwing them on the floor like a monster.

“Jesus Christ, I kept those in way too long today. It feels like someone jizzed in my eyes.”

Cody placed his phone on a charging mat and snuffed out his candles. He walked around to Noel’s side of the bed and did the same.

Cody turned towards Noel, bringing his lower body flush against the side of the bed and placing his palms on the mattress inches from Noel's body.

“You need anything before I lay down? More pillows or anything?”

It took Noel a second to process what he’d said because Cody’s eyes were absolutely terrifying. They were shiny and pink and totally unfocused. Cody was looking at Noel but couldn’t actually see his features or expression so his eyes had nothing to lock onto.

“Uh, no, man. I’m good, thanks.”

Cody walked back around to his side of the bed, continuing to touch his hair and yawning. He climbed into bed and rubbed his eyes, groaning some more. A faint whiff of lavender released into the air as Cody adjusted his pillows.

Noel laughed quietly, one of those short exhale kinda laughs. Cody looked at him, or at least in his direction.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“Yeah, man. I just… I see now how you manage to get so much ass despite being an actual rodent.”

“Wait, what?” Cody was a mix of hurt and incredulous. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Noel was cracking up at Cody taking offense to this. He had to know.

“Dude, this. This is what I’m talking about. This right here. This is the second time in like a week that you’ve gotten me to sleep in a bed with you.”

Cody looked genuinely confused and laughed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Now Noel was confused.

“The Bahamas? After the bonus episode?”

Cody’s brow furrowed. “I… I don’t remember basically anything we did that day after lunch. But I do remember waking up the next day at 6AM and you were definitely not there. And I know your ass is not a morning person.”

“Cody…” Noel said quietly, trying to process what he was hearing. “Do you really not remember? You don’t remember what we talked about?”

“Like I said, I was trashed, man. I’m not proud of it. You told me the pod we did wasn’t salvageable when I asked you about it on the plane back so I didn’t even bother watching it.”

“Oh, wow.”

Cody squinted, hoping to identify something of use to him on Noel’s face.

“I don’t… I don’t get it. I got you to sleep with me? Like, not sleep with me, but like... share a bed with me?”

Noel was staring at the ceiling now.

“Kinda, yeah. It… it wasn’t a big deal, we were just napping on top of the covers, but… you asked me to stay with you, and I did.”

Cody still looked lost, squeezing his eyelids shut and then blinking as if there was some way he could literally see what Noel was talking about.

“But… why? Like you said, it's not a big deal bu why did I need you to stay? Was I sick?”

“Um…” Noel actually considered the question on face value. “Yeah, I guess… I guess in a way.”

“Like a stomach thing, or…” Cody trailed off.

Noel turned to look at Cody again.

“I think… I think you should watch the video, man.”

“But…” Cody was exasperated now. “You said it wasn’t very good.”

Noel shook his head. “No, it... it wasn’t that it wasn’t good. I think it objectively would have been a really cool video, but you were very direct about the fact that you didn’t want that... stuff getting out there. Your, you know… limits are what made it unusable and I respected that.”

Cody turned his head to look at the ceiling. He knew there was a fan there but he couldn’t see it and it was making him irrationally angry. Noel felt sleep weighing down his own eyelids. He watched Cody for as long as he could before his eyes drifted shut.

Minutes passed. The unknown of what was on that video was filling Cody with dread. The calm he’d felt after the shower was gone. Despite the fatigue he felt in every inch of his body, he knew he’d never sleep unless he knew what Noel was talking about. He sat up, swung his legs onto the floor, and grabbed his glasses. He turned on his side table light and then the overhead fan light.

The commotion and the brightness brought Noel back from the brink of sleep.

“Bruh…wh- I thought you said no bulbs, man.”

Cody ignored him and crouched down to pull his suitcase out from under the bed.

“We used my camera, right?” Cody asked as he unzipped the luggage.

“Uhh…” Noel was fried. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

Cody rummaged around in his suitcase. He had felt so shitty since being back that he hadn’t bothered to unpack. The main compartment was filled mostly with mini bottles of alcohol and Hawaiian shirts, but he found his camera, stuffed in a corner and protected by socks.

Cody picked up the camera and turned it over in his hands, looking for damage.

“I probably should have carried this on with me.” He muttered to himself.

Noel was still in bed, his hands rubbing his face in disbelief.

“Dude, I don’t understand why you’re doing this now. It’s almost 5 o’clock. Just watch it in the morning.”

“Shut up, Noel.”

Cody pulled out the SD card and pushed himself up off the ground. He walked into his office and brought his computer out of sleep. He carefully placed the card into the reader.

The large screen populated with thumbnails as he sat down. Cody pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and tried to figure out which one he was looking for. The blue light of the monitor washed over his face and reflected in his lenses.

“There are a bunch of videos on here that look the same.” Cody yelled. “Which one is it?”

This was Noel’s hell.

“It should be the last one.” Noel yelled back, arm now draped across his eyes.

“Can you turn the lights off again?” he begged.

Cody was consumed, trying to locate the last uploaded file.

Eventually he responded, “No, I need you awake for this if I have any questions.”

Noel was taking deep breaths to keep himself from snapping.

“Questions? Cody, you’re not making sense. Come to bed, dude. We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Cody continued to ignore Noel’s protests. He found the file and queued it up while turning the volume down. The neighbors didn’t deserve to be subjected to two dumbasses talking about sharting at 5AM.

The podcast started out normal. They were backlit by the sun and sea.

“Why did we light this so badly?” he asked Noel. Noel didn’t respond.

Cody used his keys to skip around.

>> Sauced

>> Baha-mas

>> YouTubers

>> Fraternities

“This is mostly just me being funny as fuck, what should I be looking for?” Cody yelled towards the bedroom.

Noel was delusional with fatigue at this point. He tried to remind himself that Cody had many sides to him, how that’s actually one of the main things that makes him so magnetic and first attracted Noel to him. Cody could be baby, or he could be a senior iOS engineer. He could be soft, or he could be an unbearably selfish asshole like he was being right now. Noel’s thoughts drifted and he imagined what a plea deal for choking your best friend to death would look like. He forced himself out of the bed and walked to the doorway.

“Start at the YouTubers part. It’s about James Charles.”

“Wait, what? Why would…”

Cody turned around to speak to Noel but he had already shut the door. Noel used his last crumb of energy to turn off the lights. He fell into bed, his brain shorting out as soon as he hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needy is now done but there's more of this sweet, sweet slow burn coming soon, baby!
> 
> [ click here to reach me on tumblr](https://sodaplease.tumblr.com/)


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